Happy Fourth of July !!

Growing up, Fourth of July was always a special time for our family. My grandparents lived three blocks from the University of Arizona in Tucson where there was always a fireworks display.

So the whole family would assemble on the front lawn. It was the perfect spot, the lawn was large and a little bit up on a hill so we had a great view over the other houses.

Nani Gene and Papa Jim (my grandparents) would set up a bunch of folding lawn chairs and blankets on the grass. And pull out the card table for the food. We're Italian so there HAD to be food!

All of us kids would be so excited waiting for it to get dark and for the show to start. Luckily we didn't have Daylight Savings Time in Tucson so it got dark earlier. We'd hear the band playing and knew it was almost time. Then the first one would go up. It was usually a dud, but would make a nice loud crack which was totally cool.

We had all the required number of ooohhhs and aaahhhs. We ate watermelon and seedless green grapes (they didn't have seedless red grapes back then). My grandfather called the green grapes something like "pisha freet". That's the phonetic spelling because I have no idea what the actual words were. But they meant "fruit that makes you pee." In fact, that was our family always called green grapes which was not cool when non-Italians asked us what the heck that meant!

We'd also have cookies or cake or whatever people brought over. The weather was so nice and warm. No mosquitos in Tucson so the evenings were wonderful. My last Fourth of July on that lawn was in 1973 when I was 7 months pregnant with my twins. I looked so forward to having my own kids be part of that tradition, but my grandfather died a few weeks later and my grandmother never went back to that house after he died. So the tradition ended that year.

Now we have our own tradition. Where we live we can buy "safe" fireworks and do them in our streets. They don't go into the air. Just bounce around the street. Some are fountains of light with whistling or popping noises. Enough sound and light and color to be very festive. So we gather our kids and grandkids around, have food (of course) and spend the evening creating our own displays and walking around the neighborhood watching other people's displays. Now Ed and I are the grandparents! And we love it. Even without the grapes that make you pee.

Life's a beach

We've had a very warm weekend here in Northern California. So Ed decided it would be fun to take our books, pack a lunch, and head to the beach. We have a couple of those low chairs and an umbrella that attaches to the back of them. So we were all set.

The day started out by Ed calling me out to the garage saying, "Look at this." I went out there, saw the back door open and tried to see what he wanted me to look at.

Me: "What is it? The ladder by the fence?"
Ed: "No..."
Me: "What, I don't see anything. Is something broken?"
Ed: "I can't believe you!! Look straight ahead!"
Me: (walking a little closer to the door) "What???"
Ed: "Oh, for pete's sake, look a little to your right."

There, right next to the door, he had put one of the chairs with the umbrella attached and the cooler next to it - like a little beach scene. I totally didn't see it. He just shook his head in wonder. But, sadly, he wasn't surprised.

Anyway, we gathered all the things we would need. Slathered on SPF 30 and threw the bottle in our bag. Brought out books, camera, tripod, blanket in case we wanted to bask in the sun, and two beach towels in case we went in the water. We also packed a lunch - sandwiches, fruit, cookies - enough food for approximately four days.

Then we took off. The temperature thingy in the care said 94 degrees. Boy it was going to feel good at the beach. We drove through a small redwood forest, along a windy mountain road. Very pretty. As we got closer to the beach, the temperature dropped to 86, but that was still good. Until we crossed the street and pulled into the parking lot at San Gregorio. Now the temperature was 63!!! Let's see, 94 minus 63, mumble, mumble, carry the one, mumble, mumble - yup, 31 degrees less!!

We carted all our stuff to find a spot in the sand. The place was packed. The fog was thick. Waves were gray and white and the sky was gray. We found a spot and spread out the blanket.

Did we bring any jackets or shirts? Of course not. Sweats or jeans? Nyet. I did bring a hat primarily to keep my scalp from getting sunburned. Now it was just to keep my head warm! I mean, could I look any dorkier??? Shut up, Jenni.

The beach towels did come in handy. We used them to cover our legs. Tried to read but it was too cold. So Ed pulled the blanket up over our legs and we used the towels as shawls, keeping only enough fingers out to turn the pages of the book. We did manage to eat lunch, but skipped the 2 cans of cold soda and 4 bottles of cold water that we brought. Wishing instead for a thermos of coffee.

Then the park ranger comes by and says that the ocean is rough and people should stay close to shore. About 20 minutes later he came back and told us that the tide was rising and in about an hour our area would be wet. Great.

The water started getting close and we were going to move when Ed said, "Ya know, I wouldn't mind just going home." And, in a flash, I had the site picked up and slung over my arm. We headed back to the car and were amazed at all the people still driving in. By now it was almost 4pm and certainly not going to get any warmer.

Anyway, we made it home and are now going to sit in our backyard and read - in shorts and t-shirts with no blankets or towels. Or shivering. Or sand

Father's Day

For Father's Day this year I want to honor three new fathers in our family - well, two of them are new fathers. One is new to his fourth child!

First - my son. Joe has wanted to be a daddy since he was a little kid. I remember talking with him about what he wanted to be "when he grew up." He always said he never wanted a job where he had to sit at a desk all day. Funny that he is now in the computer field and basically sits at a desk! But here was his primary goal. He said, " I don't want to be rich. But I want to have a job where I can make enough money that my wife and I can have a nice house, a couple of kids, take vacations, and have all my friends and their kids over for BBQs." Now he has that. It's been such fun to see him with his high school friends and their families - little kids everywhere. Now he has one of his own,- little Tyson. And once he starts sleeping at night again, I know he'll truly enjoy being a father.


Next, my brother. He and his wife had child #4 - baby Alex - just two weeks before Tyson was born. With four kids, Tony has a very active family life (that's putting it mildly!!), but he always has time for each of his kids. They obviously adore him and he's been a truly wonderful dad.

And, third, my nephew Dale. Two months ago he had his first child, also a boy (yes, there was definitely a run on boys in our family this year) named Evan. We visited them on our recent trip to Tucson and it's such fun to see my little nephew being a daddy. He's still in the wide-eyed "what the crap do I do??" stage. But he'll learn. They all do eventually.

So to my three special dads, and to all the dads out there - Happy Father's Day. I always remember something my grandmother told me when I was very young. "Any man can be a father, but it takes a special man to be a 'Daddy'."

Goodbye to a friend

Today I found out that Dr. Irving Schulman died last Thursday. A very sad discovery for me. He was my boss, my mentor, my friend.

When I started working at Stanford Hospital in 1988, Dr. Schulman was the head of Pediatrics. I met him a couple of months into my job and he welcomed me and immediately said something to make me laugh. That was one of the things he was known for - his sense of humor. The other thing was his integrity.

I remember in those early days being in a meeting with a group of physicians and they were discussing some senior lab techs were refusing to follow a new mandatory glove-wearing policy. Mind you, this was in the early AIDS days and hospitals were just starting to require glove wearing. After a lot of back and forth about how to get people to follow policy, etc., Dr. Schulman slammed his hand on the table and said, "We're talking about the health and safety of the staff and the patients. There is no wiggle room. Either she follows the policy or she goes!" Because he was who he was, his voice carried a lot of weight and the Board agreed with him. I thought, "Now, that's a physician I would love to work for". No bullshit, no game playing, no politics.

In talking with his assistant one day, I mentioned that I would love to work with him. When she resigned her position a couple of months later, she arranged for me to have an interview. I met with him and answered a few questions. By this time he and I had developed a really good relationship. He asked if I had any questions. I said, "Yes, what do I need to do to get this job?" He said, "If you want it, you have it!" And that was it. I became the Director of Medical Staff Services at the Children's Hospital and that developed into the 20-year career that I retired from last year.

Dr. Schulman retired a couple of years later after the new hospital was built and open. He had poured his heart and soul into that new facility and wanted to be there for it's first year. When he retired it left a huge hole in leadership that was never adequately filled. But luckily he continued to come to Grand Rounds and conferences and when he was in the building, he always came to my office to visit, catch up, and make me laugh.

He could be very gruff. I remember back in the late 1980's walking down the hall behind Dr. S and a new intern. A really cocky intern. The guy was saying, "I don't see why I have to do all that paperwork. I'm a doctor. The nurses should do it." Dr. Schulman stopped walking, looked the intern right in the eye, and said, "You don't have to do all the paperwork. And you don't have to stay in our program. The decision is yours."

Dr. S and I had a lunch date the middle of January, 2007. He called a couple of days before and asked if it would be okay to postpone our lunch for a couple of weeks as his wife was coming home early from having shoulder surgery. I said, no problem. We could get together in February. About a week later he had a stroke and never fully recovered. He was such a vital man. So energetic, well-traveled. Always dressed impeccably. I used to call him Adolph Menjou who was an old dapper movie star and we would always joke that he and I were the only ones who even knew who Adolph Menjou was!

Before he came to Stanford, Dr. S was the head of Pediatrics at Children's Memorial in Chicago. A couple of months before his stroke, he gave me a lapel pin he had found from his Children's Memorial days. My brother is now the head of Pediatric Derm at Children's Memorial so Dr. S told me to give Tony the pin to wear on his lab coat.

After he retired and I was no longer working for him, he used to tell me to call him "Irv." Although I was on a first name basis with all the other physicians at our hospitals, I continued to call him Dr. Schulman. He would grumble, but smile. He just always felt a little bigger than life to me.

Now he's gone. They'll be having a memorial in August and my daughter and I will definitely be going. I'm sure there will be many funny stories told, some tears shed, and we will all be reminded of what a special place he held in our hearts and lives - a place he will remain for all of us.

Goodbye, Irv.

Flowers

In Tucson we had one week of spring. The orange blossoms were in full bloom and many of the cactus in the area have lovely flowers on them. Then that's it. Spring all gone and dry summer ahead for several months.

During my first year in Northern California I was amazed by the different plants that bloom from January through the end of summer. And I plant flowers or blooming plants in our yard every chance I get.

Here are a couple of favorites that are blooming right now. Ed's grandmother had lilies in her yard so he wanted to plant some at home. These guys come up every year and always amaze us with their bright colors. It took a while this past week to find a sunny time during the day to take a photo!


I love hydrangeas and this is from a plant that my daughter, Jenni, gave me a few years back. It started out as a 5" pot and is now almost 5 feet tall! This particular flower now resides in a vase on our dining room table along with a couple of her brothers and sisters.
And the final photo is an arrangement that one of Ed's agents made for me because I was sick. ALL these flowers came from her yard! Amazing. Both her talent at arranging the flowers and the fact that she grows so many beautiful things in your garden. She said that some of these are actually leaves from lettuce that is going to seed. Now that's creativity.

Happy Birthday to Ed !!!

Today is Ed's birthday!! Oh, yeah, and it's Flag Day. But let's stick to Ed, mkay? He started out way back in the 40's in Hayward, California. Here is the obligatory photo of child on car that everyone of us born in the 40's and early 50's have. He's with his grandmother.

Ed was a shy, quiet kid, but he sure knew how to party.

Then came those young adult years when he did two tours of duty in Vietnam. Luckily he came away unhurt. These were also his studly days.

Ed and I met ten years ago this coming October and have been married for almost 7 years.


How fortunate I am - after kissing many frogs and even marrying a couple of them - to have found him. We share the same values, the same love of family, the same love of traveling. My life has been so much fuller since that fateful day in 1999 when we first met for coffee after meeting on Match.Com. He's a great husband, a wonderful father and stepfather, and a terrific grandfather.



Here's to having another 20 years together to enjoy each other, our every-growing families, and the world.

I love you, Ed!!

What I've learned this week

• Having pneumonia sucks!!
• There is something inherently unfair about taking an antibiotic that makes you so nauseated that you hardly eat anything for almost a week - and you don't lose even one ounce.
• When you go to the doctor with low blood pressure, low oxygen levels, and high heartrate - he gets nervous and runs you through a heap o' tests thinking you have congestive heart failure or are having a heart attack. When all along it's just the damn antibiotic.
• Going to have labs done when you're a total needlephobe (when I worked in the hospital even typing the words "hyperdermic needle" would make my palms sweat") and having the cute young lab tech start with the words, "I'm a trainee, hope that's okay" is not a good thing.
• Golden Girls really was a pretty funny show
• That burning desire I had to have time to sit home and just read a book is gone
• Sleeping sitting up on the couch gets pretty old
• Getting a shot in the hip hurts! Oh, they say they'll be gentle, but how gentle can a person be with a 10" needle??
• When you haven't eaten in four days a McDonald's cheeseburger and fries tastes heavenly
• When you go to the doctor on Thursday and then back on Friday for a re-check, they really shouldn't need to ask you if you still live at the same address.
• When your elderly aunt calls to tell you about all her aches and pains and to relate stories you've heard a hundred times, and she asks how you are and you say you have pneumonia, it definitely cuts the conversation short. (By the way, this aunt introduced me recently as the flower girl at her wedding - even though she was married 4 years before I was born)
• I'm so glad I was never a smoker
• A "productive" cough is just gross
• When a medicine "may cause diarrhea or constipation" it basically means you're screwed either way
  
• Good health is a fragile and wonderful thing.