A Big Box of Crayons

Tomorrow my husband is having an angiogram and possibly an angioplasty. He's scared. And, even though I know this is a fairly common and routine procedure, I'm a bit anxious about it, too. After all, it is his heart!!

We had the consultation today and the physician has to tell you all the risks and benefits, but it's a list one would rather not hear! Ed was really stressed after all that.

I've never really minded getting older - in fact I've been enjoying it. There is a sense of freedom in not needing to climb the corporate ladder, having new priorities that allow you to actually enjoy the little things, being focused on a future where you will finally be able to do all those things you've wanted to do - but had to go to work instead!! Yes, the physical appearance goes a bit South, yes there are hot flashes, back problems, and high blood pressure. But all in all it's pretty cool. When I turned 50 I felt that my future was a giant blank flip chart and I had a box of 15o Crayons - including my favorites - Burnt Siena and Raw Umber!! I could pretty much draw what I wanted. And draw I did. I met Ed, wound up with a huge extended family, saw my daughter get married and my son engaged, and became a grandmother!! Now we're looking forward to retirement, traveling, and more grandkids.

My husband has never shared my feelings about getting older - he hates it! So the fact that he now has health issues is very difficult for him to deal with. He knows we're all here supporting him, and I'm sure once this procedure is done he'll feel much better both phyically and emotionally. But I want so much for him to share in my enthusiasm for this stage of our lives. Maybe this procedure will help him re-arrange priorities and view each day as a gift to enjoy as much as possible.

Wish us luck!!