Tell me again why I'm doing this?????

The first time you meet someone through an online dating service it’s a bit unnerving. What the hell am I doing here? Oh, god, don’t let that be him!! I was always surprised by how many of the men I met were much older than the photos they posted. Did they think I wouldn’t notice? My friend, Rob, was meeting women through Match.com at the same time and we would compare notes. One evening he called me around 9:00 pm. I barely got the “hello” out when he said, “Okay, there needs to be a rule that the photo you post is at LEAST within the last 10 years!!!” Apparently he had quite a shock when he met his cute little blonde number.

I must say, all of the men I met were really nice guys, just not for me. Never came across anyone who was scary or pushy or mean-spirited. My guess is that they all had a match somewhere out there.

Here were some of my favorite “dates”:

Rusty – drove up in his Jaguar with his Jaguar logo shirt and sweater on. Talked mostly about his fabulous home, all the money he made as a venture capitalist, and his annual trips to Europe. Even had that little head swagger thing – like the bobble headed dogs in the back windows of cars. Not sure if it was a loose neck issue, or just his version of being cool.

Buzz – We had a decent dinner, after he rather rudely told the waiter to “bring me a cup of coffee and keep it coming.” After dinner we wound up in a metaphysical book store where he proceeded to pick up a piece of crystal, put it in my hand, spread his arms, and say “Can you feel the power?” Yeah, I felt something all right…. Exit, stage left.

Barry – Another dude with the head swagger. We had a great phone conversation, but our in-person meeting deteriorated when he found out that I didn’t recognize the name of a “famous” hangout for the over-40 crowd. Apparently it’s a popular bar and pick up spot. I’m such a loser.

Craig – we met for lunch. He was very tidy, clothes and hair were all neat and in place. He folded and unfolded his napkin like a professional table setter (whatever that is), ate in small delicate bites and very neatly. Took small sips of his drink and dabbed his mouth after each one. Now, there’s nothing wrong with any of this. Except when you’re ME and tend to spill food and drinks, have a hair or two out of place, and don’t keep one hand on my lap while eating. No future here.

Steve – After about 30 minutes our conversation deteriorated down to talking about our contact lenses because, frankly, there wasn’t anything else we had in common. He was one of those “I have a great sense of humor” guys. I waited. And waited. Finally he said, “you wanna hear something funny?” I practically jumped out of my chair, “YES!! Oh, please god, yes!!!” So he told me some story about something – I don’t even remember what. He laughed and snorted, I smiled. Then I mumbled something about an early meeting the next day and high-tailed it for the door.

Next chapter, I finally hit the jackpot.