A grandmother is a mother who has a second chance

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

A difficult but necessary decision

Today my brother and I made the decision to have my dad evaluated for hospice care. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but one that is necessary. Since he isn't on any type of treatment plan (his only issue is his age), hospice care won't mean withdrawing anything that is currently being done for him, but will primarily mean that people from Hospice will come and spend time with him and help him with all his daily tasks. He's become too dependent for the nursing home to manage without additional help. So it will be a good thing for him. Since I'm so far away, it does make me feel better to know that someone will be there with him on most days reading to him, talking with him, maybe just holding his hand. Whatever he needs.

But it's sad when a person's last days or weeks or months has to be in a nursing home under hospice care. People should have dignity until the end and I'm not sure this country values his elderly citizens as much as it should. The phone calls and discussions my brother and I had to have with so many people to get this done was horrendous. I wonder what happens to all those people in the same situation who don't have children as involved with their care as we are. Who helps them? Who makes the zillion phone calls and faxes and e-mails?

Keep him in your thoughts.


Catheroo said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this. My mom is going through a similar thing with her dad, so I know all about the calls and faxes involved in this decision. You and your brother are wonderful kids to your dad.

Why is it that the toughest decisions are usually the right ones? (sigh)

Scoobers said...

Sandi- I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I will say a few prayers for you dad.
Even though you are far away, he is lucky to have you to look out for him.

Fleur de Lisa said...

Oh Sandi, I'm so sorry. I know how hard that had to be. I'll keep all of you in my thoughts. Your dad is lucky to have you and your brother.

MMrussianadoption said...

What a hard decision. I hope you make peace with it. Unfortunately, sometimes it is the only thing you can do.

Desert Diva said...

Difficult decisions like this are exhausting - one is torn between the "right thing to do" and the love for their parent.

My mother stayed in the nursing home until she passed away. However, with senile dementia she didn't move, didn't talk, and had a feeding tube. It's devastating to watch a loved one be reduced to such a helpless state.