The original Little Rascals

Over the past year or so I've bee lucky enough to re-connect with dear cousin, Marie (who we always lovingly called "Cookie"), via phone calls, e-mail, Facebook, and my blog. We spent a lot of time together growing up but then, as adults, our paths rarely crossed. I did a post about her last year.

Cookie Marie has been sending me copies of some old photos - some of which I've not seen before. This is one she sent me a couple of weeks ago. I actually have this one - in fact I had it blown up to 8x10 and have it framed on one of my tables.

Yessir, this is my family. This picture was probably taken around 1926 in the Italian neighborhood in Chicago where all our family lived. The cast of characters is (from left) Uncle Johnny, my mom, my Aunt Mary, Aunt Lucy, and Aunt Phyllis (who was called Auntie Fannie). Johnny, Lucy, and Fannie were aunts and uncle to my mother and her sister.

My great-grandmother had 16 kids which included 3 sets of twins. My grandmother was the third one born and she was married at 16. Had my Aunt Mary when she was 17 and my mother when she was 18. My great-grandmother was still "producing" at that time so my mom had several aunts and uncles who were close to her in age. In fact, Uncle Johnny was the same age or a year younger.

They all grew up together and, as you can see, were very fashion conscious. I'm sure they didn't have much, but my mother always told me they never knew they were poor. They just enjoyed having a big family and being together. Eventually everyone in this photo migrated out west - most of them stayed in Arizona, Uncle Johnny kept going until he reached California. Now, the only one left is my Aunt Mary. Both Aunt Lucy and Aunt Fannie died last year. Uncle Johnny and my mother several years ago.

I love this photo. It's my heritage.

La Famiglia

Had a nice visit with family in Chicago last weekend. It was a quick trip - Friday afternoon through Monday morning - but it gave us a chance to meet our newest nephew, Alex. He is so adorable, smiling most of the time and he has this cute little spit-up trick that he does regularly! Apparently the other three kids my brother has never spit up so this is new for them. But he's so friggin' cute that it's easy to excuse this little social faux pas.


Our trip started out very early on Friday morning. We got to the Oakland airport around 6am and, after checking our luggage, decided to have breakfast. As I was trying to pay for my food (which, by the way, was ridiculously expensive) the girl in front of me had an order that came to $16.02. She handed the man at the register a $20 and then found 2 cents and tried to give that to him to avoid getting a bunch of change. He became totally flustered and said he couldn't do that. The cashier next to him said, "Yes, you can." Five minutes later he figured it out and the customer was on her way. When my order rang up to $23.04, I decided to take the change so I wouldn't miss the plane!

Sitting next to us were two men. It was a table for four but they were both sitting on the same side so they could watch the tv on the wall. They were the same build and coloring. Both had graying mustaches, both had the same style glasses. When they chewed, they chewed the same way! They had to be twins. So I asked them, "Are you two brothers or twins?" They started laughing and said that, no, they weren't even related. But they worked in the same place (apparently they were at a business meeting) and got that all the time. I have never seen two people look so much alike and not be related. I think they really were twins and just did this to throw people off.

When we arrived in Chicago, we went to the baggage carousel. Remember the old days when everyone had black suitcases and they would have that dummy suitcase on the top of the carousel with a note to carefully check your luggage because many look alike?? Well, no more. As they began offloading our flight, the first 15 suitcases were red!! (mine was one of them...) Then the chain was broken by a purple paisley number. But it was quite strange.

Our plans for the weekend initially included going to some games my nieces and nephew had. However, it mostly rained, with thunder and lightening, so the outside games were cancelled. I did get to watch my youngest niece, Mackenzie, practice her ice skating and model her costume. No, the crocs aren't part of it.

We also had two great family dinners with lots of food, talking and laughing. In fact, I always feel a bit sorry for the non-Italian people at our table. Often they just sit there with this glazed over look wondering how we could all be talking at the same time and still pay attention to each other!! It's an Italian gift - what can I say.

The last night there we were at my aunt's house going over old photos and stories about my grandparents. There is a cousin of ours who lives in the south of France who made contact with my dad and aunt a few years back. He sent wonderful photos and postcards that my grandfather had written in the late 1800's and early 1900's. Yesterday I e-mailed this cousin to introduce myself. He wrote back quickly and offered to help me trace my ancestry on my grandfather's side. He and his family still live in the south of France (apparently a lot of the family migrated there from Italy during a war at the turn of the last century). And he said that there are still houses, churches, and other buildings with connections to my grandfather.

I just called Ed and told him that our next European trip was SO going to be the south of France!

The Windy City

Tomorrow we're heading to Chicago for 5 days. The first three will be a conference downtown, and the weekend will be spent with family. I love Chicago. Couldn't handle the winters, but love downtown and all the surrounding areas. It's a great place to visit. When my brother left California with his wife and new baby almost 12 years ago, I was heartbroken. But the plus side is that I've traveled to Chicago at least once a year since that, and when my dad moved there five years ago, the trips expanded to four times a year. And I always loved it. Now that Dad's gone, we're back to probably once a year.

This time we will be staying downtown the whole trip. For those of you who have never been to downtown Chicago, you're really missing something. Millenium Park with it's huge silver bean, Grant Park with Buckingham Fountain, Navy Pier, Lakeshore Drive, a 5-story Crate and Barrel, the Chicago River, Water Tower, Michigan Avenue (which is probably the cleanest main street in any downtown in the country).

I was born in Chicago, as were my parents. So in many ways it's home to me - even though I left at the age of 2. No, I didn't run (crawl) away from home - my parents moved around Illinois for a couple of years then we settled in Dayton, OH for six years before heading to Tucson. So, a lot of my family history is in Chicago. I have a photo of me and my dad standing in front of Buckingham Fountain when I was three. My Mom worked downtown during the war, my whole family lived in the Italian neighborhood, and my grandmother would throw meatball sandwiches down from their third floor apartment window to my dad and his brother so they could have lunch on the run!

This trip will have a meloncholy side, too. We will finally be burying my dad's ashes and spending some time at the cemetery to say our final goodbyes. He and his brother (who passed away two months before him) will be buried in the same plot as their parents in a beautiful cemetary with large trees, and wonderful marble headstones.

Then on Sunday we'll be driving up to Lake Geneva (which I think is in Wisconsin) with my aunt and uncle to try to catch some fall colors. Plus, that is where my parents spent their honeymoon so it will be fun to see it.

All in all, I'm looking forward to the week. Not to getting up at 4:00am tomorrow to catch the plane, but the rest of it.

And the car doors opened with a crackling of ice

So they have these things out here in Chicago called ice pellets and freezing rain. Both just charming events. The snow started around 11 am today and that was cool. Came down pretty hard and stuck to the ground. We loved it. Of course, we were in our hotel room all cozy and warm. My daughter flew in this afternoon and arrived at the hotel around 4:30pm. She and her family were greeted by snow balls thrown by my son and his stepsons. Nice welcome.

This hotel has an indoor pool and while the kids were swimming, my son offered the boys $10 if they would go outside in their swimming trunks and make snow angels. They did it! Froze their butts off, but now they're $10 richer. There isn't enough money in the world..........

We all had dinner together at a great Cajun seafood place. But it was "raining" the whole time we were in the restaurant and that rain turned out to be sleet or freezing rain or something like that. By the time we left, everything was icy. We had to scrape the windows with an actual ice scraper!! The car doors were frozen shut and the curbs and street were a sheet of ice. I mean, people actually live in this!

When we got back to the hotel we had trouble finding a place to park where we could actually walk in. I thought for sure my sister was going to take a header on the ice. It was pretty scary. But now we're cozy and warm in the room. Although, if it rains tonight and the temperature gets down to the predicted 16 degrees, I'm guessing tomorrow will be a bit harrowing. I'm very glad my daughter talked me into buying pseudo-Uggs a couple of years ago!

Tomorrow is my dad's memorial service. Hopefully we've planned a celebration that he would have enjoyed.

Do you even know how cold 21 is?!?!?

We're sitting in our hotel room in Chicago. Just got back from dinner and the temperature outside is a balmy 21. Yup, 21. The little thingy on the car dashboard said so. When we landed at 12:15, it said 44. When we got out of the parking garage it dropped to 39. And then just kept dropping. There are actually people who live with this weather all the time! Amazing.

We had to leave home at 4:20am this morning to get to the airport. Parked the car in a Park 'n Fly place and got on the shuttle. When the shuttle arrived at the airport, the driver stopped and everyone just sat there. Looking ahead with glassy eyes. No one moved. It was like a Twilight Zone moment. Finally I just bolted out of my seat and the rest of the group followed. Very strange.

Driving in Chicago is interesting. This is definitely the land o' trucks. They're everywhere - big 18 wheelers. Everywhere. But we've been out here enough now to manage it. Ed is even getting adept at tossing coins into the little metal basket at the toll booth. In the beginning it would cost a buck or two trying to get 30 cents worth of coins to hit the basket. But his aim is improving.

My son gets in tonight, my sister tomorrow morning, and my daughter tomorrow afternoon. We're all going to have dinner together and prepare for Sunday. It feels so strange to be close to my dad's nursing home, and not be able to visit him. I'm expecting a lot of tears this weekend, but with the whole family together it should be a healing time. And a time of celebration.

Happy 85th, Dad

We're in Chicago this weekend to visit my dad and help him celebrate his 85th birthday. Ed and I travel to Chicago to see Dad at least four times a year. We always travel Southwest Airlines so we have the whole routine down to a science. Or so we thought. My son stopped over on Thursday evening and we were talking about travel, airlines, etc. Suddenly Ed leaped up and began spewing expletives! Now, for those of you have never flown Southwest - they don't have assigned seats. Instead, they board in three groups (A, B, C) and you are assigned a group in purely chronoligical order - first come, first served. In the "old days" you got a boarding number at the check in desk - and there was always an air of excitement around who got to the gate first and how low your number was. I actually got #1 on one of my trips! I felt so special - I made sure the number was clearly showing so everyone would see that I was on top. Yes, I had to get there 90 minutes early to accomplish this heroic feat - but I did it. (For those of you with volune turned up, you can probably hear my daughter saying "What a dork!" right about now). Definitely one of the highlights of my travel expreiences.

Now, you can go online 24 hours before the flight and check in. We KNOW this!! We do it regularly! But, alas, on Thrusday night we were 13 hours late. My husband raced into the office and went online. Again, expletives. He came out of the office and tossed two pieces of paper at me - they were our boarding passes. We were in C. The most non-elite of rows. We would get the leftovers - the seats the A and B people didn't want. Sigh........

As we got on the plane, we could feel the eyes of the A and B people looking at us with a mixture of sympathy (there but for the grace of god,,,,,) and disdain. We did manage to find two seats together - at the back. Luckily the rest of the flight was uneventful.

After checking in at the hotel, we picked my dad up and took him to dinner. He so seldom gets out that it's always fun to take him to a nice restaurant. We had a great dinner and some bread pudding for dessert with a candle in it.

Yesterday we all went to my brother's house in Evanston for a BBQ. My aunt (Dad's sister) and uncle joined us. The weather was perfect, my brother's back yard was beautiful, and it turned out to be a great day. You might be able to see the candles on the cake read "29". My brother forgot to buy candles and that was what they had at the house. However, if you reverse them the number is 92. Subtract the 2 from the 9 and you get 7. Subtract 7 from 92 and you get 85!! So it all worked out.

As usual, there were a few odd questions from my Dad: Who's house is this again? (my brother has lived in this house for 11 years) Is Aunt Mary coming (she still lives in Tucson)? Do you still live in California? I try to imagine what it must be like at his stage in life. He's really very intelligent - stills reads the paper daily, watches the news, reads Time and Newsweek. Very up on current events and can still out-spell any of us. But he has these moments when time and space get mixed up for him. The last 3 places he's lived blend together. He loses track of some basic everyday facts - then he'll catch himself and either feel sad angry. He usually knows when he's said something that doesn't make sense. I try to underplay these comments so he doesn't feel so bad about them. However, I know it's very hard for him to realize that he's losing his grip on reality and it scares him. I wonder what it feels like - does he feel like he's in a fog and things just aren't clear? It's so painful to watch.

But we had a really good afternoon complete with cake and ice cream. At one point he said, "It makes me so happy to have all of you here." It made us happy, too.

Have Gnome, Will Travel

When my mother-in-law was sick in January, my daughter, Jenni, bought my husband, Ed, a little travel gnome to make him smile. For some reason, Ed likes gnomes! I bought him one for the yard a year or so ago, but it has never been outside - instead it has a special place in our living room next to the big screen tv! So the little travel gnome seemed like a fitting companion.

He's been to Disneyland with us. After a Danish and a Latte, he was ready to roll! Favorite spot was Fantasyland. But he also loved the Matterhorn - reminded him of his childhood.

Last week he joined us in Las Vegas, and then out to Chicago to visit my dad. Lots of excitement at the airport when he found the two airports on our breakfast table!!

Later he joined my dad and me for hot fudge sundaes at Oberweis Dairy. Now we just need to find a name for him - "travel gnome" sounds so impersonal!

Going Through Dad's Things

It's a very odd feeling to go through your parent's "things" and decide what to keep and what to get rid of. Although my dad is still alive, he's in a nursing home and will no longer need any of the stuff that has been in storage for the past two 20 months. So today Ed and I went through three pallets that contained almost all of my dad's possessions. Luckily, the storage company is very service oriented. They had the pallates emptied, all boxes and furniture on the floor in an orderly fashion so we didn't need to do any heavy lifting or moving, all boxes opened for us, and they were close by in case we needed anything. For such an emotional and stressful situation, we were very grateful for their help and caring.

Since my dad had moved from Tucson to Chicago only a few years ago, there wasn't a lot of junk. But the things we did go through all spoke of his personality and his history.

• 20 or so CD's - half of them Frank Sinatra, and the rest such oldies as Mel Torme, Ella Firzgerald, Glenn Miller
• DVD's - several with Kim Bassinger in them! And two Kill Bills! Plus several old VHS tapes - three seasons of Soprano's, the complete set of The Godfather movies, and, or course, Frank Sinatra movies
• A wooden shoe shine box with a thing on top for a person to put his shoe to be shined. This from his youth in Chicago when he shined shoes for a side job
• A Clavietta which is like a little piano that you blow into to make sound - my dad loved music and loved to "play" instruments
• Pictures, cards, and books I sent to him over 30 years ago
• A recipe card box with A-Z dividers and 3x5 cards - this was his homemade version of a Rolodex
• A little orange painted pumpkin that my brother made for him over 30 years ago and which he always had hanging up in his house
• Lapel pins, retirement plaques, etc,. from his years working for a Chevy dealership and working for the Red Cross.
• Many coffee table books about Chicago, New York City, and, yes, Frank Sinatra
• A bottle opener shaped like Italy (this will soon be hung up in my kitchen!)
• Eight remotes - many for equipment that is long gone

We shipped a lot of the smaller things back home, and put together boxes for my aunt and my brother. Then we told the manager at the storage facility that the staff there could got through the stuff and take whatever they wanted - the rest would go to Salvation Army. Ed set everything up like a mini-garage sale in hopes that some of the items will find good homes.

My Dad's things

Next week we’re going to Las Vegas for a few days for Ed’s conference, and then to Chicago to visit my dad. He’s in a nursing home and not doing too well. A few years ago he moved to Chicago at the age of 81 because he wanted “to go back home.” Dad’s always had a bad back and it was getting progressively worse – partly, I’m sure, because he left the warm dry air of Tucson to live in the cold, damp air of Chicago. But he finally found a physician who said he could help him.

Two years ago he underwent major surgery – probably not a wise decision at his age and in his physical state. And, frankly, I’m angry that the neurosurgeon convinced him to do it. He’s never been the same. Went from living totally independently to spending one month in the hospital, four months in a nursing home, then moving to Assisted Living. Eights months later he was back in the nursing home and that’s where he is now. He’ll never get any better than he currently is, and it’s so sad to see him living in one room, wishing he could still drive, not being able to go anywhere unless one of us takes him there, spending his time watching tv and waiting for someone to visit.

When he moved, we put all his stuff in storage hoping that someday he’d need it again – knowing in our hearts that he probably wouldn’t. So now, after almost two years, it’s time to disperse his things. I called the storage place last week to arrange to go through the boxes to be sure we recover anything that has emotional value, and to find out what they could do to help us with the remainder. The supervisor told me that they could, for a fee, take it all to a dumpster! I asked if they could give it to a charity and he said, no, all they could do was dump it. I fell apart. I’d had a really busy and stressful week at work and to hear this news, on top of all that, was just too much. Those are my dad’s thing! The bookcases that he loved. The new kitchen table set that we helped him buy. The painting of piano keys that my brother bought for him. So many things. The thought of all of them winding up in some landfill just broke my heart. My poor daughter had to listen to my mini-meltdown - thank god she was home!

Luckily my aunt (who lives in Chicago) was able to find a local charity with a truck that would pick up whatever we didn’t want to keep. So now we’ll spend one day going through everything one last time and putting aside the special things, and the next day loading the remainder on the truck for the charity. At least his things will have homes. And at least we still have him for awhile longer.