What to do, what to do

Over the past few days a lot of people have been congratulating me on my retirement, saying they would miss me (I mean, what else can they say - thank god you're finally leaving!?!), and wistfully wishing they were also retiring. I've spent many years on their side of the road. So often when someone would retire it would feel like they were getting out on parole and the rest of us still had to do time. Not that I work in a bad place - I don't. I have a great job, and work with really wonderful people. But enough is enough!

My retirement plans are partially in place, but also very fluid. Which is the fun part - a lot of unknowns over the next several months. I'm definitely not ready to sit down and watch game shows or soap operas all day. Although I wouldn't mind a week of sitting on the couch with hot tea watching old black and white movies! But how awesome will it be to be able to go to Target in the middle of the day?

I remember a physician who retired several years ago. A short time after his retirement, another physician asked him how he was doing. He said, "Retirement is great. But I've noticed that it now takes me the entire morning to do the things I used to do on my lunch hour!"

And what about those greeters at Wal-Mart. I mean, how cool is THAT job? You get to wear the little blue vest, even work while riding a scooter in the store, and all you have to do is smile and be nice to people who walk in. I could do that. I think. Being nice all the time might be stressful. One of the reasons I learned to type was so that I wouldn't have to wait tables and be nice to people all the time. OK, scratch the Wal-Mart gig.

Maybe I'll just become Maxine from the Hallmark Cards. Dye my hair blue. Get some floppy slippers, and sit around all day spewing out witty sarcasm. Now that's something I could handle!