There is no place like gnome

I remember the first time I saw The Full Monty (yes, I've seen it more than once) and felt a little sad for the guy who had all those gnomes in his front yard. I mean, how sad was that for a grown man to have gnomes as friends?!? Did you know there is actually a group called freethegnomes.com which is an activist group for gnomes that are "enslaved" in gardens! No, really, there is.

Now, we have gnomes. Not sure how it started, but I think there was a commercial with a gnome who traveled around the world. Ed thought he was pretty cute so for his birthday one year I bought him a garden gnome of his own. Only problem is that Ed doesn't want him to be outside - alone, slimed by snails, having muddy feet, fading or getting broken. So now the gnome has a home in our LIVING ROOM (!) right next to the tv. He stares at us every night as we sit on the couch. It was a little unnerving at first. Actually, when he initially joined our family we had this little "find the gnome" game going. Hey, I can hear those snickers - this was not a dirty game!! I hid the little fella in one of Ed's shoes. Next day I found it under my pillow. (Okay, I give up - there is no way to write this so it doesn't sound dirty....) The game was short-lived because the danged gnome is too big to hide more than a couple of times. So now he just patrols the living room for us.

Somewhere along the way we wound up with a little pocket-sized travel gnome. I think Jenni bought it for me. His name is Gnorbert and he goes everywhere with us. I try to take a photo of two of him in each locale. We're leaving for Austria and Italy next week and Gnorbert is very excited. Sometimes photo taking involves Ed holding Gnorbert while crowds of tourists go by and look. Ed hates that part. So I try to find flat surfaces so the photos don't have Ed's fingertips in them. Or his head. Yes, once we sat little Gnorbert on top of his head to take the photo (lack of hair has its benefits). Hey, I thought it was funny! So did the other people. Ed, not so much.

Then last year Jenni bought Ed another small gnome either after his mother died or after his stent procedure. Can't remember - but I do know that it was at a time that Ed needed some cheering up and the new ceramic friend helped. This one (who is nameless) sits proudly on Ed's desk t home and keeps him company during his many hours on the computer.

So, yes, we're gnome dorks. Thank you commercial. Thank you Jenni.