A grandmother is a mother who has a second chance

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Some things are just a matter of principle.

There are a few things in life that I just don't do - mostly on principle. Things such as

  • darning socks (pleeeaaassseee, just buy a new pair without a hole)
  • parallel park
  • use that last little sliver of soap before getting out a new bar
  • back into parking spaces or driveways (this one drives Ed nuts)
  • swim in bodies of water other than swimming pools
  • use hankies
And I don't camp! I know, I know, it's the great American adventure sleeping out in the open, cooking over an open fire, blah, blah, blah. A friend of mine once said that, to her, "roughing it" meant not having a rose on her breakfast tray. Well, I'm not nearly so shallow. I can even stay in a hotel without room service! As long at it has flushing toilets and hot water.

What is it about camping that people love? Sleeping outside where bears and bugs can attack at will? Peeing (and other things) in the woods? Having dirt and weeds in your food? What is it??

First, let's talk about water. I like water - running out of a faucet. Hot water, stuff like that. Jumping in a lake to clean off isn't my cup of tea. There are critters in lakes. And seaweed (I think) and used fishing line and other creepy stuff. Give me a swimming pool where I can see the bottom, smell the chlorine, and see the little wiggly thing on the bottom that catches bugs. I am, after all, from Tucson. Oh, and let's not forget trying to wash dishes in cold water or lake water. Nope, not gonna do it.

Camping is a lot of work. You still have to cook and clean, but without any of the niceties of home. Oh, sure, cooking over an open fire is fun once in awhile - about every 10 years or so. And coffee perking out in the open smells great. But batting away flies while you eat or finding a piece of bark in your potatoes - no thanks.

I can manage without electricity for awhile, but not without hot, running water. And I can sleep in the great outdoors if I have a comfortable bed that is inside something like a nice RV or a room. No tents, no cots, and dear god no sleeping bags.

There have been camping experiences in my life:
  • Overflowing "toilet" in a camper
  • Skunks
  • Brushing teeth with using a little dixie cup of precious water - insert gag reflex here
  • Campgrounds filled with smells of other people cooking, loud radios, dogs pooping willy-nilly, drunks
  • Dirty hair = itchy head
Ed and I have both always thought it would be cool, once we retire, to travel the country in an RV. Of course, my version of that is to stay in a hotel every third night and eat in restaurants much of the time. Which, apparently, defeats the whole purpose of taking RV. Whatever.

I do have my principles!!


ba and the boys said...

they must be italian principles because im right there with you! i hate camping and although i grew up in the atlantic ocean, i wont go in today! chlorene ROCKS!

Mellodee said...

I knew cmping was not for me during a Girl Scout overnight camping trip at age 11 or 12. I think it was the sand in the scrambled eggs that finally pushed me right over the edge. Gritty eggs....yuck, yuck, pooey! Others can camp if they must, but I'm going to a 4 star (at least) hotel!


Desert Diva said...

You'd be AMAZED at some of the RV's out there - much nicer than my little townhome!